Listening Socially

From the beginning of 8th grade to the beginning of my junior year in high school, I almost exclusively listened to rock. I had three My Chemical Romance wristbands that I wore to school every day. I probably only owned three pairs of jeans -- all of them black and two of them ripped. I remember starting a "fashion inspo" Tumblr blog where I would reblog tweets from blogs titled "EDGY-CLOSET-UWU" or "xXxDeathFashionxXx". Long story short, I had my emo phase.

It wasn't until this year that I made new friends who kind of guided me toward the end of the emo tunnel. I'd already been trying (and failing) to leave rock music behind before I met them, but they sped the process up. Empty "actually not Pierce The Veil" playlists were suddenly being filled with Daniel Caesar, Post Malone, and SZA. Within the span of months, I no longer identified as an edgy teen. It was the end of an iconic era.

A friend of mine once told me about her little brother's taste in music. To give little context, his friend group is called "SOS", short for "Strictly Only Savages". Based on her descriptions, he listens to trap music when he's alone in his room. His friends most likely listened to trap, too. Then, he suddenly became a fan of the popular KPop group, BTS. Only one of his friends followed suit, but they're now die-hard fans. I've heard that they made a fan account on Instagram dedicated to their favorite BTS member. It's a stark contrast to what he used to enjoy. We came to the conclusion that he probably listens to KPop for personal enjoyment, and trap music socially.

Nowadays, when I get asked what kind of music I listen to, I usually say "mainstream R&B". In all honesty, I don't enjoy R&B anywhere near as much as I used to love rock. Not that I'm about to go back to Fall Out Boy and Panic! At The Disco, but R&B just doesn't resonate with me. I thought that I just needed to listen to more until I got used to it, but it's been more than six months since I intentionally listened to rock, and I still miss it. Back then, I never went anywhere without my earbuds. I actually broke one side from using them so much, but I still used the same pair for many more months. Now, the only time I put on music is in the shower and in the car, when I'm not up to anything and it's too quiet for comfort. I still put on 2000's pop throwbacks every now and then, just to give myself a break.

I don't regret listening to R&B socially, I just wish that I hadn't thrown away rock just because my none of my friends listened to it. Maybe I'll make new friends and start listening to country. But who knows? I might actually like it.